Two Too Young

Released: September 26, 1936
Director: Gordon Douglas
Episode length: 9:18 (19/34)
Alfalfa's screen time: 4:35 (12-t/34) 49% (19/34)
Lines of dialogue spoken by Alfalfa: 37 (12-t/34)
Song: None, but one memorable recitation of
"Charge of the Light Brigade"
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"Dear Spanky,

Porky and Buckwheat have firecrackers. They are too little to shoot them off. Let's do it for them at recess, huh?

Yours truly,
Alfalfa

PS- You think of a way to get the firecrackers -Alfalfa"

Alfalfa folds the note into a paper airplane, puts it on his desk and blows it over one row onto Spanky's desk. Spanky reads the note and gives Alfalfa the OK sign, which Alfalfa returns.

The recess bell rings and Miss Lawrence asks the children to prepare for recess. The students all make a quarter-turn in their seats towards the exit, as if they are sprinters in their starting blocks awaiting the starting gun. Despite Miss Lawrence's request that they "all walk out quietly like little ladies and gentlemen", the students pour out noisily after being dismissed to recess, led by Spanky and Alfalfa. The only two children who are walking slowly out of the room are Buckwheat and Porky, who blissfully trail the field, much to the amusement of Miss Lawrence.

Alfalfa hands Spanky his firecrackers and a magnifying glass, which can be used to ignite firecrackers without the aid of a match (to do this, one holds a magnifying glass between the firecrackers and a source of light. Over time, the intensified light beaming through the magnifying glass heats the firecracker fuses sufficiently to ignite them. The folks at 4alfalfa.com never actually did this, of course, but we heard this is how you do it...)

Spanky tells Alfalfa that he will do all the talking. Alfalfa isn't crazy about this, but Spanky in fact proposes to Buckwheat and Porky that they hand over their firecrackers over to the older boys so they can shoot them off safely. Considering Spanky's proposal, Buckwheat and Porky whisper back and forth. Alfalfa and Spanky smile at each other, confident that the two little ones will go along with their scheme. But to their surprise, Buckwheat finally answers Spanky with a firm "No!" Buckwheat and Porky then smile at each other and head off towards the see-saw.

Spanky comes up with another idea, similar to the one he used, unsuccessfully, in "Teacher's Beau": He will stand on Alfalfa's shoulders and don a grownup overcoat and disguise, then tell Buckwheat that he is a G-Man who needs to confiscate the little ones' firecrackers. Spanky slices off Alfalfa's cowlick to use as a mustache for some added authenticity.

The scene shifts back to the schoolyard. Spanky and Alfalfa, in their G-Man disguise, wobble into the schoolyard and proceed over to Buckwheat and Porky, who are still happily going up and down on the see-saw, to the strains of Buckwheat's familiar "La-la, la-la" singing. Spanky looks at Buckwheat as he goes up and down on the see-saw. Initially, Buckwheat is convinced by the lame ruse and produces the firecrackers, but Alfalfa eagerly reaches out from behind the overcoat to grab them before Spanky can, prompting a double-take from Buckwheat. Having obtained the firecrackers, Spanky and Alfalfa start to leave the scene. As they make their way back to the school room, Alfalfa unknowingly walks right in the path of a fixed chin-up bar apparatus. Spanky gets caught on the bar and Alfalfa keeps walking. Alfalfa turns and sees that their G-Man plan has flopped (do any of Spanky's ideas ever work?) He re-docks with Spanky, much to the amazement of Buckwheat and Porky. Alfalfa loses his balance and they finally collapse to the ground in a heap.

Buckwheat and Porky, miffed that they have been tricked, walk over to Alfalfa and Spanky. Buckwheat demands that his firecrackers be returned. Spanky tells Buckwheat that he and Porky are too young to shoot them off, and that he will do the honors. Spanky kneels down on the ground. He builds a small mound of firecrackers and holds the magnifying glass above them to try and generate some heat. While Spanky is doing this, Buckwheat goes into the schoolroom and rings the recess bell early in order to cut into Spanky's firecracker time.

Contemporary publicity poster
for "Two Too Young". Note
Rosina Lawrence, who played
the kids' teacher, is billed
prominently. Hal Roach tried
to develop the beautiful Lawrence
into a major screen star, but it
was not meant to be.

The students begin making their way back to class. Spanky hands Alfalfa the unlit firecrackers. But Spanky carelessly leaves behind the magnifying glass on the ground in his haste to return to class. After Alfalfa and Spanky go back in, Porky walks over and picks up the magnifying glass. He is the last student to return from recess. After Porky waddles in back to his desk, Miss Lawrence resumes the day's lessons.

Miss Lawrence asks the students which one of them knows today's recitation real well. The students, appearing guilty and embarrassed at not having fully memorized their lessons, all look down at their desks—all, that is, except Alfalfa. Sitting in the first seat in his row, he turns around to his left and right to see his classmates' obvious distress. He then turns back towards Miss Lawrence and dramatically raises his hand, now wearing a big self-satisfied grin.

Miss Lawrence [slightly surprised]: Do you want to recite, Alfalfa?
Alfalfa [sweetly]: Yes, ma'am...
Miss Lawrence [skeptically]: All right. Go right ahead...
Alfalfa [turns and whispers to Spanky before standing up]: Now you're gonna see some real talkin'.

Alfalfa is referring to earlier in the episode, when Spanky told Alfalfa that he would do all the talking. Alfalfa gets up dramatically and begins his recitation.

Alfalfa gets up dramatically and begins his recitation of "Charge of the Light Brigade" (learn more about it at Alfalfa's Greatest Hits). As Alfalfa hammily performs the poem, Porky has pulls out the magnifying glass he picked up outside and holds it directly in line with the firecrackers in Alfalfa's back pocket. Alfalfa is totally unaware that any of this is happening. Spanky turns around and notices what Porky is trying to do. Spanky frantically waves towards Porky to stop, but Porky simply sticks his tongue out at Spanky and continues training the magnifying glass onto Alfalfa's firecrackers. Spanky, desperate, raises his hand to try and get Miss Lawrence's attention, but she does not want Alfalfa's dramatic performance disrupted. Soon, the firecrackers do go off in Alfalfa's back pocket, at first one or two at a time. But as Alfalfa gets to the "volley'd and thunder'd" part of the poem, the remaining firecrackers go off at once and all heck breaks loose.

Miss Lawrence grabs the fire extinguisher, the other students put their heads down as if to shield themselves from harm, and Alfalfa, yelling, starts running frantically up and down the rows in terror as the firecrackers explode violently in his back pocket. He finally runs out of the schoolroom and plops into a large bucket of water located fortuitously next to the steps leading out into the schoolyard. Relieved, Alfalfa continues dunking his backside into the water, which sizzles from the heat of the extinguished firecrackers.

Commentary
"Two Too Young" would have been only a passable, somewhat lackluster Little Rascals entry if not for the inclusion of the "Charge of the Light Brigade" sequence which served as the climax of the film. This is Alfalfa at his smarmy, pompous, overly-earnest best. By the time this episode was filmed, Alfalfa had honed his ability to give a more accomplished and polished performance, yet had, happily, not yet reached the point where he knew he was funny and knew that his job was, in fact, to "be Alfalfa". His recitation of "Charge of the Light Brigade" still has an appealing sort of innocence that is absent in many of his later Little Rascals films, primarily because of Alfalfa's growing self-awareness as a performer.


At far left is Spanky's brother Tommy McFarland.
Standing in center is Harold Switzer. Note Baby Patsy
May next to Darla; although she had minor roles in only
a couple Alfalfa-era Rascals episodes, she was
frequently included in contemporary cast photos, and
was also featured in most of the opening credit graphics
of the era.

And what a performance he gives in that climactic scene, which certainly has to be at or near the top of his entire Little Rascals body of work. One wonders how much direction was given to Alfalfa beforehand, and how much of his performance was purely instinctive. The sequence is jammed with subtle inflections, gestures, and facial expressions that really must be seen to be appreciated.

Equally interesting is Alfalfa's original reaction when Miss Lawrence first asks if anybody wishes to recite. He must have known that he had memorized the piece well enough to volunteer, but he still turned around to look at the rest of his classmates to check if any of them were volunteering, as if to fortify and validate his own sense of self-satisfaction at having learned the rather difficult piece. These masterful touches originated, of course, with skillful writing and direction (by Gordon Douglas). But it is difficult to imagine any other Little Rascals cast member of the era performing this scene with as much sophistication. And the transparently "angelic" persona he displays in this sequence becomes even more memorable when one considers that this is the same Alfalfa who, just minutes earlier, was plotting with Spanky to steal firecrackers from the (supposedly) guileless Buckwheat and Porky. One of our favorite moments in the entire scene is Alfalfa's smug reply of "Thank you, teacher"—directed more at Spanky than Miss Lawrence—after Spanky is scolded for interrupting Alfalfa's recitation.

Although it features one of Alfalfa's all-time great performances, "Two Too Young" is otherwise a competent but fairly unremarkable Little Rascals entry which must still be evaluated in its full context as a self-contained film.

4alfalfa.com's rating:

3 cowlicks (out of a possible 5)


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