Released: May 13, 1937
Director: Gordon Douglas
Episode length: 9:58 (13/34)
Alfalfa's screen time: 5:34 (19/34) 48% (21/34)
Lines of dialogue spoken by Alfalfa: 24 (20/34)
Song: None
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Skip episode synopsis and go directly to commentary

Spanky asks Waldo to stay behind and take care of Porky.. Waldo and Porky sit back down under the window just in time to hear the superintendent say that because Miss Lawrence's students have made such excellent progress according to their last reports cards (must have been that ice cream party she threw in "Bored of Education"), she will make an exception and let Miss Lawrence have the time off and close the school after all. Waldo hurriedly writes a note which he asks Porky to deliver to "Master Spanky". The note reads:

"Gentlemen
An Epidemic Is Unnecessary. The School Is Closed.
Waldo"

Waldo's pithy communication may be one of the very few handwritten notes by one of the kids in Little Rascals history that does not contain at least one typo. But then again, that's Waldo.

Meanwhile, Alfalfa and Spanky have inserted some sort of inflatable devices under their shirts to make them look like they have swollen bellies. They also have dabbed dark paint onto their faces through a fly swatter to achieve a pointillistic replication of measles.


Then they proceed to fix Buckwheat.. and boy, do they fix him! But first, Porky shows up to deliver Waldo's note. An impatient Spanky tells Porky to sit down when the youngster can't immediately locate the note on his person (throughout this era of the Little Rascals, Spanky frequently treats Porky with a consistently high level of impatience, often asking him brusquely "What do you want?", or barking at him to "Go sit down". It is also Spanky who yanks Porky off the stage in "Our Gang Follies of 1936", causing the then-two year old to burst out crying.)

Then we see the sequence that perhaps is the single archetypal example cited by modern-day observers to document the charges that the Little Rascals series was guilty of, at minimum, racial and ethnic stereotyping and insensitivity (many other examples of this are discussed in our internal link Censored!!) Spanky tries to apply the dark paint to Buckwheat, but it is not readily visible that he has measles. Hmm. Alfalfa then produces a can of white paint. Spanky applies the paint to Buckwheat's face as Porky looks on in wonderment.

The scene shifts to a shot of an office door that reads "Dr. O.T. Hertz— Veterinarian". As the three would-be measles patients enter—they either don't know what a veterinarian is, or simply didn't notice the sign—Spanky again implores Porky to stop following them. He waits outside. Spanky rings the bell on the front desk. Out comes Dr. Hertz (hey, it's the same guy who played Hobson the butler in "Second Childhood", veteran character actor Sidney Bracey!) After momentarily recoiling at the boy's appearance, he asks what has happened. Spanky explains that they have "an epidemic".

The doctor, going along with the gag without batting an eye, says that treatments must begin immediately. He brings Buckwheat inside and asks him to take his sweater off. Hertz then goes back into the waiting room to retrieve some instruments. After telling Alfalfa and Spanky ominously, "I'll see you later", Dr. Hertz returns to the inner office and says, loudly enough to be heard in the waiting room, "We may have to operate!" Alfalfa and Spanky, overhearing this from the waiting room, panic. They both pull out handkerchiefs and wipe off their "measles" while, inside, we see Dr. Hertz calmly deflate Buckwheat's enlarged belly. Alfalfa and Spanky hear the hissing sound. They hurriedly unbutton their shirts to begin deflating their own bellies.

Dr. Hertz's assistant then walks in from another room. He is holding a monkey (oh, no...)

Assistant [referring to the monkey]: A serious case, sir...
Dr. Hertz: Oh, I see you prepared the serum. I hate to use it, but it appears to be a matter of life and death.
Assistant: Yes sir.
Dr. Hertz: Well in that case, we'll be forced to use the monkey serum.

Meanwhile, Alfalfa and Spanky are hearing all this from the waiting room, and are becoming increasingly alarmed. They don't realize that the doctors are referring the monkey, brought in by the assistant whom they have not yet seen.

Hertz and the assistant sit the monkey down next to Buckwheat on the examining table and walk into the next room, which is sort of a lab space with various small animals—dogs and so on—in cages, awaiting treatment. Dr. Hertz tells Buckwheat that he can put his sweater back on.

Alfalfa and Spanky hear the monkey screech. Buckwheat, frightened, runs into the same room that the two doctors have entered moments earlier. Buckwheat finds refuge in a large sack hanging on the wall. The sack is labeled"Cat Food". Dr. Hertz and his assistant continue to discuss the monkey. As Hertz again opens the door to the waiting room to retrieve something from the cabinet, Alfalfa and Spanky hear him telling the assistant, "...if he gets restless, or wants to scratch or climb, don't stand for any monkey business."

Dr. Hertz then receives an emergency call on the phone, to which he and the assistant must respond immediately. As the doctor begins leaving, he notices that Alfalfa and Spanky are still waiting and he admits that he had forgotten all about them. Hertz tells the boys that they can go in and see their friend. Spanky asks if he is alright; Hertz replies "Well, I think you'll find quite a change in him..."


William Thomas (a.k.a.
"Buckwheat"), ca. "Three
Smart Boys".

As Alfalfa and Spanky enter the examining room, they are stunned to see the monkey sitting on the table. The monkey then jumps on an overhead ceiling lamp. Spanky tells "Buckwheat" to stop clowning and come down. But the monkey jumps off the light and onto a shelf containing some bottles and beakers, and then it starts flinging bottles down at the boys, who twist and flinch to dodge the projectiles. It seems that Alfalfa gets most of the punishment; the first bottle hits him in the head and one of them hits him flush on the wrist. Although these are obviously prop breakaway bottles (they are, aren't they?...), it seems like Alfalfa is genuinely in pain after being hit, or at least stunned from the impact. While the bottles are raining down on them, Alfalfa and Spanky yell frantically for the monkey to stop.

The monkey jumps off the shelf and into the lab area, where Buckwheat is hiding. Alfalfa and Spanky follow the monkey (Check out Alfalfa's weird race-walking gait as he lopes towards the door. Has he been injured by one of the bottles?) The monkey co-incidentally climbs into the same bag as Buckwheat. The boys drag the bag—now containing both the monkey and Buckwheat—and dump it into the bath. From inside the bag, we hear Buckwheat clamoring to be let out.

Meanwhile, we see Porky still sitting outside the entrance of the building. He suddenly realizes he never gave Spanky Waldo's note. He runs in and hands it to Spanky (who greets Porky with "What do you want!"). Spanky reads the note out loud. Then Buckwheat pops his head out of the bag. Looking at both Buckwheat and the monkey, Alfalfa and Spanky scratch their heads in open-mouthed confusion as the episode fades to black.


Hal Roach Studios publicity
poster for "Three Smart Boys"

Commentary
This episode's reputation precedes it. When discussing the Little Rascals' penchant for ethnic and racial stereotyping, virtually all commentators cite this episode and its "white measles" sequence. Curiously, the other half of this episode's stereotyping quinella—Spanky and Alfalfa's belief that Buckwheat has been turned into a monkey—probably represents an image that is potentially much more offensive, yet receives but a fraction of the notoriety that the white measles has. The folks at 4alfalfa.com are pitifully unqualified to render judgments on whether or not similar images contained in "Three Smart Boys" and many other episodes are, or even should be offensive to any segment of society.

But we will note here that, again, virtually all potentially offensive references that one could find in the Little Rascals series—and there were many—were represented by images or situations, rather than by a Caucasian character treating a black character with disdain, or making overtly negative references to him or her (the two main exceptions that come to mind occur in "Free Wheelin'" and "Big Ears"—discussed in more detail in Censored!!) For instance, when Dr. O. T. Hertz "treats" Buckwheat, he does so without the slightest trace of condescension or dismissiveness over the fact that Buckwheat is black. His attitude towards Buckwheat is exactly the same as it is towards Alfalfa and Spanky, i.e. a kind of absent-minded bemusement over the lengths they have gone to shut down their school.



Unusual publicity photo of Alfalfa, ca. "Three Smart Boys".

In any event, the next-most noteworthy sequence in "Three Smart Boys" is the remarkable scene near the end of the one-reeler when the monkey pelts Alfalfa and Spanky (mainly Alfalfa) with a series of laboratory bottles from his perch atop a cabinet in the examination room. Obviously, these are prop breakaway bottles; still, it appears as if Alfalfa is hurt, or at the very least, stunned, by the impact of the assault, especially the first bottle that seems to hit him on top of the head. Thereafter, the rest of the bottle attack sees Alfalfa in a series of flinching, twisting gyrations to try and dodge the projectiles. As in the fruits and vegetables scene from "Our Gang Follies of 1938", one wonders whether the off-camera crew member(s) responsible for actually throwing the bottles intentionally aimed the bulk of their arsenal at Alfalfa—rather than the legendarily well-behaved Spanky—as a kind of "inside joke" retribution for some of the mischief in which Alfalfa was purported to engage in on the Rascals set.

Also, observe closely the boys' shouts of protests to the monkey while the bottles are raining down. This sequence has an interesting improvisational feel to it (a quality which had become increasingly infrequent in the Little Rascals series by the late thirties). At one point, Spanky yells to the monkey "Listen Buckwheat, I'm gonna lose my temper!", and it seems as if he may have stepped on his partner's original line because Alfalfa then follows with a halting "I've lost mine!", as if he had to improvise something on the spot. Just one of countless subtle moments that may be noticed only after repeat viewings.

As a final postcript, "Three Smart Boys" is also significant for the fact that it represents the final of six appearances by Rosina Lawrence as the kids' beautiful, patient teacher. Following the departure of the legendary Miss Crabtree in early 1932, the Little Rascals searched in vain for a replacement, including one-shot appearances by silent veteran Mary Kornman and Arletta Duncan before finding Rosina Lawrence. Miss Crabtree was an impossible act to follow, but Miss Lawrence created her own identity in those six episodes and came as close as could be expected to equaling Miss Crabtree's appeal.

4alfalfa.com gives "Three Smart Boys"

3 cowlicks (out of a possible 5; or, one cowlick for each smart boy...)

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