Pay As You Exit

Released: October 24, 1936
Director: Gordon Douglas
Episode length: 9:55 (29/34)
Alfalfa's screen time: 5:14 (10-t/34) 53% (15/34)
Lines of dialogue spoken by Alfalfa: 38 (10-t/34)
Song: None
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Skip episode synopsis and go directly to commentary

SATTIDAY MATINNAY
SPANKY - PRESENTS
ROMYO and JULLET
-WITH-
ALFALFA - DARLA - BUCKWHEAT
PORKY
WRITTEN BY
SPANKY AND SHAKSPEER

Studio photo of opening scene from "Pay As You Exit"


The camera then pans backwards to show us a group of kids sitting in an outdoor audience being entertained by the strains of "Yankee Doodle Dandy" played by a marching band consisting of Darla, Buckwheat and Porky. Buckwheat is playing the kazoo and banging on the drum. Darla is banging together cymbals. Porky is just sort of swaying back and forth, thoroughly enjoying himself. Off to the side, Alfalfa is sitting in the "Ticket Offis" and is happily conducting to the beat of the music. Spanky emerges and, as usual, he has appointed himself master of ceremonies. He holds up his arms for quiet and tells the assembled crowd that his production of Romeo and Juliet, costing only a penny, will be "the greatest show in town. I mean the biggest show in the whole world !" After his speech, Spanky turns to Alfalfa and tells him, "Do your stuff, pal." As Spanky and the band go inside the "theatre" (which is, as usual, really a barn), Alfalfa takes over.

He implores the kids to fork over a penny to see the show. But Joe Cobb, in one of four cameo appearances following his original departure from Our Gang, replies to Alfalfa on behalf of the rest of the audience. Joe (flanked by Harold Switzer, Alfalfa's brother) suggests that if the show isn't really worth a penny, they will feel cheated. Alfalfa offers the following: They can pay their penny on the way out, if they like the show. In other words, pay as you exit. Joe and the rest of the kids agree, and stream into the quasi-auditorium.

Inside, Alfalfa tells Spanky the show is a sellout, but he has offered a pay-as-you-exit arrangement. Alfalfa says not to worry: after all, he's playing Romeo. As he says the word "Romeo", Spanky gets a whiff of his pal's onion breath.

Soon the show starts. Alfalfa comes out in an absurd-looking doublet.



In a scene with Juliet (Darla), his onion breath so offends his costar that Darla delivers one of her lines while holding her nose. Then Buckwheat, as a spear-carrying slave, arrives and tells Juliet that her "pappy's coming" (Spanky). Spanky and Alfalfa have a sword fight. Alfalfa wins, and the curtain drops, bringing Act One to a close. The audience is impressed, and Alfalfa and Spanky are congratulating each other when Darla announces that she is quitting because of Alfalfa's onion breath. Spanky tells Alfalfa to find another Juliet for Act Two.



Meanwhile, the crowd is again getting antsy. Ringleader Joe Cobb—assisted by Harold Switzer—organizes a chant of "We want more show!" Spanky comes on stage and does a corny strongman routine, which the gullible crowd eats up until Porky reveals that the "100-LB" weights that Spanky has been hoisting are really cardboard props, by carrying them offstage following the conclusion of Spanky's routine. Alfalfa joins the scene to announce that he has found "a swell Juliet". Without asking who it is, Spanky starts the second act.

We soon see that it is Buckwheat who has been recruited to replace Darla as Juliet. Wearing a hilarious blonde wig, Buckwheat performs the climactic balcony scene with Alfalfa until he too can no longer stand Alfalfa's onion breath. The ladder on which Alfalfa is propped starts to wobble, and Spanky hurriedly brings the curtain down. Alfalfa then crashes down to the ground, falling through the curtain and landing into the front row of spectators. The crowd, laughing in delight, gets up and leaves the barn. Spanky goes out to check on Alfalfa, who is already on his feet as he watches the crowd disperse.

Spanky assumes that the crowd has not paid their pennies, but Alfalfa dumps a fistful of pennies into Spanky's hand: While leaving, the kids happily handed over their penny to Alfalfa. Alfalfa offers Spanky a celebratory onion. As Alfalfa and Spanky happily gnaw on their snack, the final shot of the episode is of Porky still sitting backstage next to the record player, wearing one of his classic Porkian grins. Then to the infectious, triumphant strains of well-known Rascals background music "Hide and Seek", the episode fades to black.

Hal Roach Studios publicity
poster for "Pay As You Exit".
Note Spanky still gets main
billing, as he would throughout
most of the Little Rascals run.

Commentary
"Pay As You Exit" is an absolute gem, one of those Little Rascals episodes in which just about everything goes right. It is a tightly-constructed, fast-moving and totally enjoyable film that, like the best Little Rascals outings, is absolutely timeless. Nothing about "Pay As You Exit" is dated, except for the quaint notion of kids putting on their own interpretation of a Shakespeare play on a Saturday afternoon. The episode is fast-moving yet unhurried, telling its simple story with complete self-assuredness and confidence. In fact, "Pay As You Exit" is just about a technically perfect Little Rascals film.

Each of the core cast of the last great Little Rascals "Golden Era"—Alfalfa, Spanky, Darla, Buckwheat, and Porky—have memorable individual moments throughout, but what makes this episode such a classic is that these great individual performances blend together so well to form a totally satisfying "whole". This group of young actors is running at its peak efficiency in "Pay As You Exit". And, as an added bonus, we even have good ol' Joe Cobb back for another cameo as an audience member in a Little Rascals "stage show" episode.

In fact, as good as the entire cast is, the real show-stealer in "Pay As You Exit" could very well be Buckwheat. In this episode are included, arguably, two of his most famous Little Rascals lines ever. First, his exuberant "Here I is!" in response to Alfalfa's "Where art thou?"; and later, when Alfalfa pines, "My Juliet", Buckwheat replies, "My Homeo!" with total confidence, not even realizing, or caring, that he has mangled the name so. Elsewhere in this website—the link called "Censored"—is included an extensive discussion of some Little Rascals scenes, images, and dialogue which have sometimes been regarded as too racially or ethnically provocative to include in local TV programming packages. A case could conceivably be made that Buckwheat's "Here I is!" response is one such stereotypical line of dialogue, but there are so many more blatant examples of stereotyping elsewhere in the course of the series that this one line scarcely registers in comparison. In fact, elsewhere within this very episode is one such more unfortunate image—earlier in the performance, a spear-carrying Buckwheat makes an appearance as an African slave, and tells Darla that her "pappy is coming".


Unusual publicity still, ca. "Pay As You Exit". Note Alfalfa
as Santa Claus.

This is the only blemish on an episode that is otherwise virtually flawless. Even Darla, whose function in the Little Rascals was seldom to serve as a laugh-getter (as beloved and talented as she was) has a laugh-out-loud moment when she holds her nose at Alfalfa's onion breath and honks "Tonight!" in response to Alfalfa's question about when they will "fly". And speaking of Alfalfa, our favorite Little Rascal turns in a marvelous performance which, while full of the requisite Alfalfa silly moments, is still understated and controlled, especially given the potential pitfalls of the inherent hamminess of his role in the play itself. His performance is absolutely pitch-perfect. The simple concept of Alfalfa earnestly speaking lines of romantic dialogue to Buckwheat—absurdly clad in an ill-fitting blonde wig—is the Little Rascals at its very best. No wonder the crowd shouted out "hooray for Buckwheat!" when he popped up and revealed himself as Darla's replacement at the beginning of Act 2. Hooray for Buckwheat indeed.

And hooray for "Pay As You Exit", surely one of the all-time great entries in the "Little Rascals".

4alfalfa.com's rating:

5 cowlicks (out of a possible 5)

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